he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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