$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
