I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This house was built for laser tag.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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