yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize