Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
