Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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