It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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