Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
