haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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