he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
