The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
