Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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