help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
