Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wish you could order shots online.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
