who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize