are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
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HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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