I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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