let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
