glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize