we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
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I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize