I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize