i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
