I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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