Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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