pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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