i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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