..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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