is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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