called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
