He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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