The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize