Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
