I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
