Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
