Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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