in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
