There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
