at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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