no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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