I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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