I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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