if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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