is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
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