it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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