We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
