that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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