Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she peed on how many people?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize