I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
