We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
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And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
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I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize