Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
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I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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