Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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