Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
