I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
