I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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