I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
