Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
